I woke up and burst into tears

yesterday I couldn’t explain what I felt though I am aware that my body is adjusting. As my 6th chakra: (Third Eye chakra) is opening experiencing frequent headache most of the time. Feeling dizzy, eating more and more while losing weight more and more. Feeling tired, body pains, numbness on some parts of my limbs. Hard to concentrate in meditating as I or start closing my eyes I see images, places right away.

Now my 4th chakra: (heart chakra) is being awakened, crushing pressures are often felt in my chest, feels like my heart is being ripped open as the same time deep feelings of gratitude and joy. many people is telling me I am different. I’ve seen and experienced Gods miracle not just once but many times. I experienced lots of suffering and pain. For so many years my life is in limbo. Talking to God asking lots of “Why’s” but he didn’t answer. Turning my back from him, cussing him, hurting lots of people.

I experience of what they called dark night of the soul. My guru; my teacher; my old friend is not in a good condition right now. He always help me all the time to remove all my confusion and doubts, he always try to explain to me the unexplainable things, always encourage me that I am strong, always guide me in every step and reminding me to meditate. I can sense that he gonna leave sooner or later and I told him I wont let him die he cannot die, who will guide me and encourage me if he die. He replied: you don’t need me anymore, my role is done. Last night as my heart charka is being awakened I talk to God and ask him some questions about myself cos some question which i’ve been asking for long time are not yet answer. asking him to give me some strength, guide me cos I’m still confused of whats going on. And today I woke up 5a.m and burst into tears. …. to be continue